Thursday, March 18, 2010

I am the very model of a Modern Nerdy Young White Male

Something came over me today: I had a strange compulsion to write new lyrics for the song 'Modern Major General' from The Pirates of Penzance. I've been functioning perfectly today- I was easily able to multitask between doing schoolwork and thinking up new lyrics. I realize that the song itself is ridiculously long to re-write, so I only wrote the first three verses. Enjoy.

I am the very model of a modern nerdy young white male
I know history trivia and buy Nintendo games wholesale
I can name all of the Sith Lords from Naga Sadow to Darth Sidious
I can identify their mugshots because they really are quite hideous

I understand the ending of Metal Gear 2: Sons of Liberty
I'm well-versed in many subjects from Will Shakespeare to meme theory
I read Tolkien, Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, P.G. Wodehouse and Turtledove
And when'er you use the word 'bad' I think immediately of the Power Glove

I know all of the functions of the crystals of dilitium
But I find listening to modern music little more than tedium
In short, in matters of good taste of which I am always willing to regail
I am the very model of a modern nerdy young white male

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